How to “break up peacefully” with your boss?
When a dream offer is finally presented to you after numerous interviews, you feel both thrilled and a headache at the thought of bringing it up with your boss, especially when you maintain a good relationship with him/her. You have no idea what reason could be more acceptable for him/her and whether you may change your mind seeing him/her making every effort to retain you.
In fact, quitting doesn't have to be as hard as you think. It is unavoidable from the moment you decide to move on, unless you are aimed at a promotion or salary increase and only use the offer as a bargaining chip. Here are some tips to help you gracefully "break up" with your boss.
Firstly, do not mention a word to your colleagues before you submit a formal resignation to your boss. Otherwise, he/she might feel hurt for having to learn it from someone else, just imagine if you learnt from someone else that your partner is cheating on you. On the other hand, it provides the boss more time to think about how to stop you. Make an appointment with your boss in advance to avoid any unfavorable circumstances, such as a bad mood, which may trigger more negative emotions.
Secondly, should you mention the real reason for quitting and your new employer? Of course not! Do not tell the truth or let your boss know where you are going. In most cases, the boss isn't really caring about why you are quitting, he/she is just champing at the bit to make you stay. He will even make an oral promise for salary raise or promotion as he knows that looking for a substitution is always far harder. If you do stay for a salary raise or promotion, your boss will have doubt about your loyalty and may never trust you again. The safest way to go might be to "Thank the boss for his/her support, let him/her know that this is a decision based on career development, and that instead we should focus on who I will hand over my position to”.
Thirdly, stay alert to office gossip. After submitting your resignation, colleagues you know or do not know may suddenly become concerned about where you are going and express regret for your leaving. The best way is to smile it away and wait until you join the new employer. Write a sincere email to express your gratitude and wishes, and mention the resignation date and handover. Send a private email to colleagues with whom you have personal friendship to keep in touch.
A graceful quitting and peaceful "breaking up" with you previous employer can ensure you a perfect position to start a new career and a way out, as it is better to make friends than to make enemies.